Before we found out we were expecting Mabel, I had a recurring daydream about what a 4th baby would look like in our family. For whatever reason, I always envisioned Ivy confidently holding this hypothetical baby on her hip, with her tiny legs, knobby knees, and her signature well-loved Birkenstocks beneath her, supporting them both. I loved this image my mind had created, and I had a feeling that a little baby brother or sister to help take after would really light something up inside of Ivy. For once I was right about something, and these two have had such a special bond since day one. Watching Ivy love on Mabel in such a caring, maternal way this year has been so heartwarming. (And helpful, I don’t know how we’d do it without Ivy!)
It makes me think back to some of my favorite memories with my oldest sister, and it makes me even more excited about their 10 year age difference. Being an 8 year old girl I got to help my sister pick out a Winter Formal dress, and I got to send handwritten letters (and quarters for the laundromat!) to her weekly while she was away at college. I got to brag to other kids in elementary school that I was an aunt (!), and when I was in junior high, I got to fly out to her house after she had a newborn to entertain her busy toddler for a week.
Ivy tells me daily that she can’t wait to “drive Mabes around one day”, and that she “would do anything for Maybe” and it’s truly the stuff Mom Dreams are made of. I guess what I’m saying is, there’s really no such thing as too big of an age gap when it comes to siblings. Like all relationships in life, they’re going to be close or they’re not. You just have to do your best and cross your fingers that they are.
FOR THE FOODIES
FOR THE OUTDOORSY
FOR THE INDOORSY
FOR THE SHOPPERS
A lot of clients have turned to me in the past for advice on what to wear and how to prepare for family pictures before our scheduled session. While I wish it was just because they think I have amazing fashion sense, it’s only because I’ve been behind the camera enough times to know what does and doesn’t photograph well. I thought putting together a little list of ‘photographer tips’ would be a beneficial resource for families (read: stressed out moms) before the Holiday photo season fired up, so here you go.
1.) Don’t match, coordinate.
This is a no brainer, but you’d be surprised how many people still have a hard time with this one. (I blame the 90’s, when identical white T-shirts and jeans were the family-photo-uniform.) Pick a color palette, pair it with a neutral base, and go wild. Stray from graphics and super-trendy prints, and consider which tones best complement your skin and hair color. Lastly remember that different patterns within your color combination, contrasting textures, and added accessories are strongly encouraged to keep things visually interesting. If you don’t know where to start, pick one statement piece and go from there. Since kids look cute in just about anything, I personally always start with one favorite piece that I love for myself, and then build from there.
2.) Be yourselves.
Don’t play dress-up on a day that is supposed to capture your own family, being their own selves. It’s very easy as a photographer to spot a grumpy husband who was forced to put on a bow tie or pants that he would never normally wear in real life. (Besides, husbands are typically grumpy about family pictures in the first place, don’t give them more reason to be!) I kind of blame Pinterest for this. Obviously it’s a great place to go for inspiration, but be careful if you’re wanting to emulate a gorgeous image or outfit you’ve seen on there. Whatever you do, make sure it’s you. This goes for hair, makeup, location, etc. If you don’t feel like yourself, chances are it will show through in your pictures and make for some images that don’t feel authentic.
3.) Be comfortable.
This kind of goes back to rule number two, if you don’t feel completely comfortable, it will show through in your pictures. It’s important to take a 360 degree look around with your selected outfit on before your shoot. If you’re insecure about your “XYZ” in the outfit you picked, chances are that’s all you’ll think about during your photo session and all you’ll see once you receive your photos. (And what a shame that would be!) Photographers tend to take pictures from a lot of different angles, and while they do look for the most flattering ones, don’t limit their creativity by wearing something you don’t approve of from every angle.
Whether you’re planning a photo session for you and your husband, or for you and your 9 kids, just plan. Kids are totally unpredictable and you’ll thank yourself for being prepared for anything. Lay out all your clothes and shoes and physically try them on everyone beforehand. If you think you’ll be able to grab the shoes, baby wipes, or car keys on your way out, you’re wrong. They will be nowhere to be found, ha! Get everything packed up beforehand, and if you have a baby on board, go as far as to bring a backup outfit for him or her. Bring clean snacks for toddlers (puffs, cheerios, etc.) and if you do bring toys or a pacifier for your baby, bring ones you’re willing to claim as family on your next Christmas card. A small sentimental teddy bear or simple sweet blanket doesn’t ruin an image if it’s the only thing keeping your child happy! Talk with your children and prepare them for what’s to come, also make sure to coordinate a good time of day with your photographer so your kids will be well-rested and as happy as possible. On a side note, know that your photographer typically chooses a time with optimal light to give you the highest quality of images back, so being late is not only inconsiderate to your photographer, but is also doing a disservice to yourself by limiting the amount of good light you have left.
One more tip, (and I know this is bribing), but the promise of ice-cream or a Target run goes a long way. I’ve seen a 4 year old boy stop dead in his fit-throwing tracks when he heard the word, “YOGURTLAND.”
Now that you’ve heard all my bits of advice, remember this very important one. Set zero expectations. In all my years of shooting family pictures, I’ve encountered zero children who were perfectly well-behaved enough to sit and smile and laugh for a straight hour. (And if I did, I would’ve assumed they were robots and been totally bored and a little scared.) Your three year old will most likely have a tantrum beforehand because she wants to wear a different dress, your teenager will probably be pissed about the entire thing in general, you guys might get a speeding ticket on the way to the session, and you will most definitely have the worst hair day of your entire life on the day of the scheduled shoot. Either way, just go with it. A screaming baby photographs much cuter than a frustrated parent. Keep your cool and remember that they are just pictures. I almost guarantee that you will look back and love the images of your teenage son giving stink eye, your kindergartner smiling in that awkward new way, and your toddler running out of the frame with only one shoe on; because it’s real and it’s you guys, dammit! 🙂 If you don’t believe me or disagree, then I guess you could always take comfort in knowing that you have the following year to redeem yourselves. 😉